Get On The Freaking Plane!

There are 18 days left of my time in the United States.

I have just a week and a half left of working in the Young Men's department at Macy's, my last day is the 31st. For the last week or so, everyone has been stopping me on way to wherever and talking about my decision to join the Peace Corps. My family, friends, coworkers, coworkers I have only talked to one time in my year and half at Macy's, and even people that I do not particularly care for. These conversations all boil down to one question: are you nervous?

All my life, I've been that take charge person that is going to do whatever it is I want to do, and do the very best that I possibly can do it. There was never any time to be nervous. AP tests? Job interviews? Competition at State for Cheerleading? College? Moving to Oregon? I did them all with enthusiasm, without really thinking about the what-ifs. Even during the Worst Student Teaching Experience Ever, I was not nervous about anything. I had a terrible time, and I cried a lot, but I knew what I was doing and why I was doing it.

Peace Corps is totally different. I'm leaving my comfort zone and going off to teach and live in Madagascar. I have no idea what my life will be like, how I'll cope with living on my own for the first time ever, or if I'll even make it a week once I get in country. It's the unknown. And I'm so ready for it. I am ready to challenge myself and my beliefs. I am ready to make a difference, however small it may be, in my community. I am ready to experience a vastly different culture. I am ready to try new foods. I am ready to teach a huge amount of people about what it means to be an American. About what it means to care for yourself in a way that ensures you are happy, healthy, and safe. I am ready to go on this 2 year long adventure, and emerge a better person for it. I am ready to give it 110%.

But I am also incredibly scared. What if I'm not cut out for it? What if I fail miserably at learning the language, and do not integrate into my community? I've never lived alone in my life. I can't cook, what am I going to eat?! What if I am not cut out for teaching? All these questions and more race through my mind at any given moment, and it is hard to push through them. But I read a blog awhile ago from someone giving advice to a new Peace Corps volunteer in my exact position. He said: GET ON THE FREAKING PLANE.

It is this one sentence, out of everyone I've talked to and everything I've read, that has stuck with me the most. This one sentence that is pushing me to do just that; get on the plane. Go to Madagascar. And just take whatever happens each day. I know there will be very low lows, and very high highs, and I am ready to experience both. I have no idea what will happen in the next two years, but I am excited, nervous, scared, elated, all the emotions you can think of, to see what I have to offer Peace Corps Madagascar, and what I become in return.