Early Termination, and why I did it.

So I ETed (early terminated) from Peace Corps Madagascar. It's been almost a week since I've been home in Portland, Oregon. And I wanted to write this update for those people that do not know why I decided to leave the Peace Corps.

A PCV!

So I got to Madagascar on June 11, and was ready to just take it one day and time and learn about this strange culture that I hadn't ever thought about until I got my invitation to serve. Everything started out pretty good, I was learning the language, got along well with my host family and my stage, and was doing well with the training. And I do not know what exactly happened, but I just started to feel like I did not belong there, and was getting increasingly unhappy as each day passed. Every time I talked to my family or friends in the states, my tone and excitement got a little less, well, excited. And people have asked why I wasn't happy in Peace Corps Madagascar, and I can't pinpoint it exactly. I just know that it felt wrong. I talked to some friends in my stage about a week before we were to swear in as Volunteers, and they advised me to stick it out as long as I could, because it could change. So I did. I went to swearing in, and I swore in as Peace Corps Volunteer. But I still felt like it was the wrong place for me. 
After swearing in, everybody in my stage started the long process of installing at our permanent sites, including myself. I was part of the East region, so I went with 2 other new PCVs and our installers to the coastal town of Mahanoro. 

Mahanoro

We arrived on Sunday night, spent a couple of days installing the PCV there, and then departed on Tuesday morning for the huge city of Tamatave. 

Port of Tamatave

That is where myself and the PCV from my stage that would be living the closest to me did all of our shopping for our new houses. I bought a bed, a fan, a bookshelf, and a chair. As well as dishes, and buckets, and things like that. We spent 2 days in Tamatave shopping and eating kabobs on the beach, and then left on

 Thursday morning for coastal Fenerive Est, which was to be our banking town because our permanent sites did not have banks. After we got to Fenerive, we partially installed the other PCV into her site about 30 minutes from the banking town, and then stayed the night in Fenerive, to finishing installing her on Friday morning. Friday afternoon is when we made the almost 2 hour drive inland to what was to be my permanent site, Vavatenina. And the closer and closer we got to Vavatenina, the more I wished I was on a plane back to United States. 

View from my house

So I still did not feel right being in Madagascar, despite the whole week of traveling I did around the East coast, installing the new PCVs. But I am not one to tell people how I am feeling, so all through the courtesy visits around town with the police, mayor, gendarmarie (military), and high school principal, I kept a smile permanently in place on my face. I did not tell anybody that I was still feeling like I wanted to go home, and then the Peace Corps car drove away from my home in Vavatenina, leaving me behind. And honestly, I couldn't handle it. I broke down, and was crying so hard that I could barely text my director asking her if she had time to talk to me. 

Pretty much what all of Vavatenina looked like

I spent 2 nights in my house in Vavatenina. 
I walked around the town, seeing where the market is, and met a couple people that lived near me. And then I talked with my director about how I was feeling. We decided together that I should go home, because I just was not happy. It wasn't fair to my community to have an English teacher that did not want to be there, and it wasn't fair to me to stay somewhere that wasn't making me happy. So she made some phone calls, and the next day I was back in the Peace Corps car on my way to Antananarivo to begin the process of going home. 

Everybody was so understanding about why I needed to ET, and was so helpful in the process. I know that ETing kind of has a stigma for being 'weak' or whatever, but I am so proud of myself for doing something for ME, especially because it was affecting my mental health. And I am so, so thankful that I did not get a lot of upset people, because it definitely would have been an awkward situation to be in.  I got to Antananarivo on Monday the 8th of September, and was on a plane home on Wednesday the 10th. I landed in Portland on the 11th. Needless to say, Peace Corps is SUPER quick in the process if you are ETing.

Honestly, it was the right decision for me. I am much happier now, and I've learned quite a lot about myself that I could have only done with the help of being in Madagascar with the Peace Corps. I will never forget that beautiful country, maybe one day I'll find myself there again.

So this is the last post for this blog, because I am not in the Peace Corps anymore. Someone told me that although I ended my service early, I am still an RPCV, because I am in fact, a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer. That made me smile, and made me happy to be apart of the beautiful family that is Peace Corps, even if it was only for 3 1/2 short months. 

-Elena

Swearing In/Installation

Manakory!

Just wanted to post a little update while I have fabulous WiFi at the hotel that I am at in Tamatave! Tamatave is the second largest city in Madagascar(according to a friend, fact for me?) and I am here with one other volunteer and 3 Peace Corps officials! We are getting ready to move to our permanent sites!

Anywho, We left the Peace Corps Training Center on Thursday, August 28th. All 32 of us pack 4 bags each in a big truck and hopped in the vans, ready to become official Peace Corps Volunteers. We pretty much spent all of Thursday night relaxing at the Meva, eating homemade nachos that were delicious! Went to bed pretty early, because we had to be ready at 8am on Friday to swear in. Most of my family and friends know that I am a night owl, so I might have stayed up pretty late catching up on Teen Wolf. I only have 2 episodes to go, but I am going to save them for when I really need a pick me up.

After Friday afternoon, I became an official Peace Corps Volunteer! It was a really nice ceremony, there were speeches and songs, and we were even aired live on Malagasy television! How cool! Once the ceremony was over, there was an awesome set-up of food and drinks, and we got to mingle with some higher ups in the US Embassy and Peace Corps world. All in all, it was a pretty good day!

The night however, left things to be desired. I decided to go out with the rest of the new PCVs, to have some fun and whatnot, and my wallet and phone were stolen! Bummer! I ended up getting my wallet with all of my IDs back, which is the important part. My phone, however, is long gone. Oh well I guess, I just bought a new one here in Tamatave. It's cute and tiny, and works perfectly. (:

Right now I am in Tamatave for installation. My group of 3 PCVs started in Mahanoro on the East coast, and are working our way to my site; Vavatenina. It's been a long week. We left Sunday the 31st, and I will not get to my home until Friday the 5th. It's been fun though. I've gotten to see some of Madagascar, and it is beautiful. And the Indian Ocean is SO warm! It was very unexpected to walk into the waves and not flinch back like I usually do on the coast in Oregon. I have photos of the beach and sunset, but those will have to wait until another time! For now, I am very tired. We leave at 7am tomorrow for another site installation!

Veloma!

Tech Trip! 7/12-7/20

The 5th week of Pre-Service Training is dedicated to Tech Trip, or when they herd all 32 of us into cars and trucks and drive us to various schools and English Centers in town. For this tech trip, we went to Antananarivo and Antsirabe.

We left our host families on Saturday July 12th, and stayed at the PCTC until Monday July 15th. Saturday and Sunday nights consisted of movies and beer, pretty much. It was cool, and a nice break from host family living. I think it reset my mind, and by Monday I was ready to see a little bit more of Madagascar.


ANTANANARIVO
Being apart of group 1, I got to go to Tana first, the capital of Madagascar. I did not really have any expectations of the city, except that my neny says it's maluto be (very dirty). And boy, was she right! The drive from Mantasoa to Antananarivo took roughly 3 hours, and by the time we got to the Meva (Peace Corps Transit House) we just wanted out of the van, so I did not really pay attention to my surroundings as the van got into Tana. Lunch was at a mall (a mall!) called LA City, and it was.....an experience. I've only been in Madagascar for a little over a month, and already I was surprised by elevators, escalators, and actual stores with things more than snacks and toilet paper. Most of us went into a store called ShopRite, which is just a grocery store, to get lunch and buy things we had forgotten to pack for our week long trip. My friend Tori and I went to the small food court and found an American hamburger place. It was DELICIOUS. I had a chicken burger, fries, and a coke. Nothing says 'Murica like that!


After lunch, the group headed to an English Center called English Teaching Practice, or ETP. What this center had that was really interesting was an advising center geared towards learning about and applying for college in the states. They even offered testing help for entrance exams, and scholarships applications. I met a girl there that is leaving for Lafayette College in Pennsylvania in November. So Cool! We were then split into groups of 3 and shown to a classroom, where the teacher was told they were going to have a 'guest speaker' and we were told we were going to 'observe.' It was fine though, my group ended up having an awesoe conversation! I was in a group with our married couple, and the students could not wrap their heads around me not wanting to be married, especially with Clarissa and Stephen right next me! It was definitely culturally strange for them, but I think I was able to explain that I am happy as I am without a husband enough that they understood and respected that. The variety of questions I got asked was insane! All the way from "do Americans really call condoms rubbers" and "are the Illuminati real?" It was a fun cultural exchange, and the English Center is really doing some awesome work for the students in Tana!


Our next stop was the zoo. It was so tiny, and we saw every animal there in about an hour. Fosa, Ostrich, Peacock, Camel, Tortiose, Crocodile, birds I don't remember the name of, and lemurs! I finally saw a lemur! This one was in a habitat, but I will have a chance to actually hold a lemur eventually. I do need that quintesstial Madagascar photo of a lemur, you know! The zoo was okay, kind of sad because it was so small, but a nice break from the bustle that is Tana.

The rest of our time in Tana was spent at a University, a Lycee (high school), and the Meva. Also spending time finding various places to eat!

 I met the person that I will be replacing in Vavatenina! His name is Arian, and he's pretty much amazing. I hope that I do him justice when I take over his site, and that my town will come to love me as much as they love him! His birthday was actually the day that we met, so I got to experience a bit of the bar/club scene in Tana! I approve! We went to this bar called OutCool, that is home to many a PCV and Ex-Pat, and it was awesome to just hang out with friends and meet a bunch of people!

ANTSIRABE

The second city that we went to was Antsirabe, which is apparently the coldest place in Madagascar. I don't believe, Mantasoa is just like Portland in the fall, and is much colder than Antsirabe was. Halfway through, we had to stop on the road for about 35 minutes to lets dozens of zebu pass.

Anyway, we stayed at a hotel for the 2
days that we were there, and visited a bunch of English Centers, a Lycee, and a private University.
When we got to the Lycee, we were so shocked because the school has a whole welcome program for us! There were speeches, songs sang, and dancing! There was a group of boys that were break dancing on tables! I have video, and I'll upload it when I can! But the program was amazing, despite the lack of quality our version of the National Anthem was, and the principal of the school was so welcoming!
We toured the huge campus, and ended the visit with snacks and photos in his office!

We visited a couple of English Centers and a private University after that, and all 3 were pretty much the same format as in Tana; split into small groups and converse with students. Cultural exchange, if you will.
We did draw a pretty sweet map of the United States, complete with everything you could ever want it for both English Centers:

We left Antsirabe on Friday morning, and headed back to Tana to meet up with the rest of our group. Friday night was for our own enjoyment, so a couple of my friends and I bought ice cream and pineapples, and then went back to the Meva to eat and hang out before going back to the bar from Arian's birthday. While in the Meva, we stumbled upon this gem:

So had a few laughs about the power ranger suit, and then were on our way to the bar!
We've been at the bar for maybe 2 or 3 hours, and everyone is laughing and having a good time when someone dances too close to a window, and it shatters. Oh goodness. Good thing OutCool pretty much survives on PCVs drinking there, because the owner wasn't angry at all. But we all kind of left anyway. A few of us walked up the street to another club and continued dancing until we got tired, and then called it a night. No more broken windows!
Saturday was spent hailing a taxi to take us to the taxi-brousse station, and coming back to Mantasoa in a taxi-brousse. A brousse is pretty much a van that can fit 30 people squished together, with a banging stereo system. It's the public transportation of Madagascar.

We settled in for the 3 hour drive as best we could, and then got a flat tire! So everybody had to get out of the brousse and wait for the tire to be changed. It took about 20 minutes, and then we were on our way again! It was so nice to be home after traveling for a week!


Until next time,
Elena

Manahoana daholo!!

Welp, it's been one month since I've been in Madagascar! I have had nothing but an amazing time, the people are wonderful and Madagascar is wonderful.

STAGING

I left Oregon on June 9th for staging in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Being one of the first to arrive at the hotel from my group, I kind of just walked around a little bit, and then my roommate Crystal showed up! By that time (around 7:00pm) we were starving. So we met up with a couple of other people in our stage and wandered around Philadelphia until we found a little hole in the wall cheese steak place that was amazing. Actual staging was the next day, and we played a bunch of ice breakers to meet everyone, and then went through the initial rules and regulations that pertain to Peace Corps as a whole.
I've apparently become the 'mom' of my stage, so when we played a silent grouping game where everyone had a colored sticker placed on their back and had to group together based on color without speaking, I had 3 colored stickers, so I didn't belong in any of the groups. Apparently that is a good thing, and my stage was circled around me, instead of me being pushed to the side. Inclusion!

We had the rest of that day to explore Philly more, and I went to Reading Street Market, which is kind of like Pike Place, only smaller. Had an awesome lunch, and then had more cheese steak for dinner. And then a group of 4 of us walked to the Philadelphia Museum of Art to see the Rocky steps. And then we proceeded to RUN up the Rocky steps. What a work out.

After staying up all night, our group of 32 Education volunteers got on a bus at 2:00am and drove to JFK international airport. Our flight was at 11:00am, and we got there at about 6:00am. So pretty much everyone went to sleep in the middle of the airport. We finally got to board the plane, and settled in for an 18 hour flight to Johannesburg, South Africa. I don't remember much of the flight because I slept for about 10 hours of it, but it was long!

We arrived in Jo-Burg, and then had to hop on an airplane to Antananarivo, Madagascar. That flight was almost entirely over the ocean, and was about 3 hours long. We arrived in Tana at 2:00pm, and were welcomed by the country director, Dee. And then pushed on a van for a 3 hour trip to our training town, Mantasoa.

PRE-SERVICE TRAINING

For the first three days, we stayed at the training center, probably so we can rest a little bit before jumping into home stay. Those first three days were filled with a bunch of sessions on living safely in Mantasoa, and basic survival Malagasy for use in our host family.

And then we were dropped off at our host families. And I am so so happy with mine! I live in a two-story house with a mom, a dad, and a little brother. I also have 7 cats and 2 dogs. And the family raises pigs to sell, and pretty much every family in Madagascar has chickens. I have never seen so many chickens running around everywhere, seriously EVERYWHERE.

My days are filled with language class from 8:00am to 12:00pm, lunch with my host family, and then technical training sessions from 2:00pm to 5:00pm, and then back to host families for dinner and the rest of the day. Wash, rinse, and repeat every day of the week. Except Sunday, we do not do anything  on Sunday. And then we were here for Madagascar's Independence Day, which was interesting, and loud. Music out of every house, and every store. We went to the EPP (elementary school) to listen to some speeches, so that was SUPER fun. Not. It was all in Malagasy, and I could only understand about every 5th word. Oh well.

I know this blog isn't all that detailed about my actual time in Madagascar, but that's because the last month has been so repetitive. I am on tech trip right now, so there will be more exciting posts to follow!

Veloma!

Get On The Freaking Plane!

There are 18 days left of my time in the United States.

I have just a week and a half left of working in the Young Men's department at Macy's, my last day is the 31st. For the last week or so, everyone has been stopping me on way to wherever and talking about my decision to join the Peace Corps. My family, friends, coworkers, coworkers I have only talked to one time in my year and half at Macy's, and even people that I do not particularly care for. These conversations all boil down to one question: are you nervous?

All my life, I've been that take charge person that is going to do whatever it is I want to do, and do the very best that I possibly can do it. There was never any time to be nervous. AP tests? Job interviews? Competition at State for Cheerleading? College? Moving to Oregon? I did them all with enthusiasm, without really thinking about the what-ifs. Even during the Worst Student Teaching Experience Ever, I was not nervous about anything. I had a terrible time, and I cried a lot, but I knew what I was doing and why I was doing it.

Peace Corps is totally different. I'm leaving my comfort zone and going off to teach and live in Madagascar. I have no idea what my life will be like, how I'll cope with living on my own for the first time ever, or if I'll even make it a week once I get in country. It's the unknown. And I'm so ready for it. I am ready to challenge myself and my beliefs. I am ready to make a difference, however small it may be, in my community. I am ready to experience a vastly different culture. I am ready to try new foods. I am ready to teach a huge amount of people about what it means to be an American. About what it means to care for yourself in a way that ensures you are happy, healthy, and safe. I am ready to go on this 2 year long adventure, and emerge a better person for it. I am ready to give it 110%.

But I am also incredibly scared. What if I'm not cut out for it? What if I fail miserably at learning the language, and do not integrate into my community? I've never lived alone in my life. I can't cook, what am I going to eat?! What if I am not cut out for teaching? All these questions and more race through my mind at any given moment, and it is hard to push through them. But I read a blog awhile ago from someone giving advice to a new Peace Corps volunteer in my exact position. He said: GET ON THE FREAKING PLANE.

It is this one sentence, out of everyone I've talked to and everything I've read, that has stuck with me the most. This one sentence that is pushing me to do just that; get on the plane. Go to Madagascar. And just take whatever happens each day. I know there will be very low lows, and very high highs, and I am ready to experience both. I have no idea what will happen in the next two years, but I am excited, nervous, scared, elated, all the emotions you can think of, to see what I have to offer Peace Corps Madagascar, and what I become in return.